I didn’t expect it–the smell. The extreme smell of disinfectant and bleach, the quiet coming and going of staff and patients. The dialysis center. I hadn’t been inside a dialysis center for nearly 11 years, when I was on peritoneal dialysis or PD as those of us in the “Kidney World” call it.  I agreed to participate in a study for the National Kidney Foundation as a peer mentor talking with dialysis patients.  I am a certified peer mentor, however this study required additional training and all through the training I was excited to participate.  The study’s hypothesis is something I believe in and feel strongly will be successful. Even though I am a peer mentor, much of my work promoting organ donation has been at speaking engagements, church functions and during book signings.  So I really hadn’t been back to a dialysis center until today.

I was glad that the social worker and National Kidney Foundation representative met with me in the conference room first. I needed a minute to collect myself. It is not that I was afraid or changed my mind about volunteering; I just didn’t anticipate the reaction of a negative déjà vu.

After our discussion about how the day would go, I gowned up to meet my patients.  I remember that when I was on dialysis, I was afraid of what would happen next . . . after dialysis.  And if I didn’t do anything today, I wanted the people that I met to know that there can be a successful life after dialysis. With that mantra, my nervousness about the bleach that I smelled turned into eagerness to meet new friends.

My afternoon was spent meeting very interesting people. Sometimes when we get caught up with disease, illness and chronic conditions, we forget about the interesting and complex lives that we live. I shared and they shared. I think we had a good day. I’ll be back in a couple weeks and look forward to building the relationships I created today. Although I’m the mentor presumably offering information and ways to make it successfully through dialysis, I feel like I’m the one who benefited from today’s activities.

Share